the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
