this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
