do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
