Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
