can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
