I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
