Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
