There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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