i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
