You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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