And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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