Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize