dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
