Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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