Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
