Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize