I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
