I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
