careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
