She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My vagina is very pro this idea
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize