Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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