Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
