Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
