girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
