Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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