Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
