please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
