just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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