How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
