I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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