they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
