he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
me + whiskey = a bad person
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
