I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
