i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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