Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
