Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
