I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
