is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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