I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
