no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Boobs are out for the taking
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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