Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
