i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
