Say something about gay babies.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
