I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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