I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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