i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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