chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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