Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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