A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So many bounce houses so little time
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
