And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize