So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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