You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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