omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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