so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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