so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She's the barista slut.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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