i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I love you. Go after that dick
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
