I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
