remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
my liver is dry heaving
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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