I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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