I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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