Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
