Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
