she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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